COMMUNICATION

INSPIRATION

Relationships Just like many other things in life may workout very well or may not. One thing I however attest to, which plays a vital role in nurturing relationship is “communication”.

Here are some tip bits to know whilst building a relationship:

  • First, learn to always tell the truth. Being honest and transparent will take you far. Do not cover up or lie when you see something wrong with the other. let them know the truth.
  • Learn to support each other always. Be their cheerleader.
  • In marriages,learn to share chores.I know some men think its the woman who takes care of the house but trust me, the little things you will do around the house for the woman,is much appreciated.
  • Learn not to complain too much. If you have a problem, just say it. Don’t beat around the bush.
  • Learn to be an active listener.
  • Do not assume because your partner can not read your mind.Assumptions has destroyed a lot of relationships.
  • Do not brag about your successes.
  • It is ok to share your values and opinions but do not force it down their throat.
  • Learn to eliminate “I” and use “WE”.
  • Learn to read body language. I remember when I was young,my Grandmother will caution me with people I thought were nice. She is like, “don’t you see from their face they do not like you”. In a relationship, it could be the other isn’t in a good mood,angry or upset.By learning body language you will be able to detect when your partner gets upset before it escalates.
  • Give space when needed. Everyone needs a me time.

Love, Whitney

 

Advertisements

Mistress

LIFESTYLE

The other day was  the first day I watched the TV show, The Mistress. The things we do for love. I felt for these women knowing how it could have felt to be in that position. You can not judge them because when love is involved, you have no control of your actions.

I know of a lady who almost moved to another country because of a married man. She did not care if he was married with a kid because,all she wanted was to be close to him. The problem is that,most often in this type of relationship,the woman draws closer to the married man because of the love they showers on the woman. Let’s be honest here,who doesn’t want to be loved? We all longed to be loved and cherished, so, when that moment comes, we don’t care who it is. Especially if you have been ever hurt in the past.

This lady’s story wasn’t different either. She isn’t proud of what she did in the past. Out from a  bad relationship,didn’t feel worthy and all of a sudden,she met  a guy who gave her all the attention she needed. He listened,cared,loved and became her rock. Honestly,if you were in her shoes,would you have done differently? Watch the pretenders say yes they would have. hahaha. Bare in mind,we all act differently when crises arise.

The end of that affair wasn’t beautiful,I must tell you. It took her  two good years to get over it. Did she wish for a guy like him in the past? Yes but now she knows better and doesn’t wish for some one like him. What brought the lady back to her senses was her friend. It takes a good friend to tell you what you are doing is wrong. Her friend never stopped talking to her about her actions. Her friend made her realized that there is nothing special about their bond. She was naive back then and believed everything that man said. She was so in love that she was blinded by the truth.  This was all her friend said to her.  “If he is cheating on his wife with you,what shows he won’t do that to you? As long as he is doing this to his wife,he will definitely do that to you. When you leave this relationship,he will find another woman to replace you.. Be smart,you are a smart girl”  Just those simple words changed her life.

Till now, she is always thanking God for her friend and will forever be grateful. If that friend hadn’t said those words to her,she would have still been in the relationship; moved to that country and continuously be the other woman. The other woman who will always come second. The other woman who will never be able to let the world know who she loves,she will even be hindering her own blessings and guess what,worst of it all,she would never had met her loving husband.

I hope sharing this will touch someones life. We are far from perfect but when we are willing to change,I think we can. It is possible!                                           Majority of these men do not have any intentions of making their Mistresses,the second wife or leave their wife for them. Hardly will you here of such.    If you know somebody who is a Mistress and honestly feels like she has a life with her married man, please don’t condemn her. Don’t judge her because she knows not what she is doing. Show her  love and explain things to her. Help her get out of that relationship because, she will not be able to do it alone. Giving her options to back out won’t help. It isn’t easy to back out from a relationship in which everything seems perfect.

Love is a strong force to recon.

Tutu..xoxo

STANDARDS

INSPIRATION, LIFESTYLE

Low or high standards,we all have one. It is important to have standards and set an example. Has your standards worked for you? Good if it has  but, if it has not,then you need to do something about it.

In life we all have standards on what we want. It could be the kind of car we want to drive, the kind of house we want to buy in the future, the type of man or woman we want to get married to and the lists goes on.

Sometimes, we set our standards so high forgetting that we are just humans and anything can happen. The only thing constant in life is change, so we need to be open minded about everything.

Do not get me wrong,It’s definitely good to maintain high standards but some people set their standards so high,when they do not achieve it,they become depressed. Especially in relationships,we  expect way too much and when things do not go the way we want it to be, we get so disappointed.  One way or the other,we have all sabotaged our relationships(past or present) . It may not be deliberately but on some level subconscious. What do you think?

One advice I will give is when setting a standard you want to achieve, be realistic about it. Do not build castles in the air because at the end of it all,you will not be  fooling anybody. You will be fooling yourself.

If you set standards by which you are not able to adhere, then you are probably not doing it right.